Deal with people who challenge you immediately. You might have people around you who cross your boundaries and act in a disrespectful way towards you. Do not bend, stick to your values. Challenge them back by saying immediately (not after 5 minutes, an hour, a day, or a week): ”I feel you do not respect me and I am not prepared to continue this way.”
Express your feelings without judging others. When I was a child, I was too shy to do that and felt like a victim who could not stand for her corner. Thanks to my father I developed the gear to confront people who cross my boundaries immediately.

If you have the courage to confront the bully immediately you will kill two birds with one stone: protect yourself and help the bully to stop. Bullies when not stopped go into the rush and get high on the domination drug.

People are very different. Some people have higher energetic levels and strong leadership skills and they know how to manipulate others. There are people who allow others to control and manipulate them. Why? There are secondary benefits of acting this way: if you allow others to control and manipulate you, you are not responsible, you can blame others for what happened to you and do nothing. This is the reason why victims often choose to be victims - they can do nothing and just put all the blame on the abuser. Then they have the masochistic pleasure of feeling pain and feeling sorry for themselves. Ask yourself a question: What are my secondary benefits for me if I do not deal with people who roast me? It could be keeping the status quo. You need to go deeper and ask why you need to keep this status. Maybe this status allows you to not challenge yourself and go the extra mile to defend your boundaries. A few sessions with a life coach might help you to discover your secondary benefits.

I recommend working on your confidence. Develop a straight posture and open body language. Master your speech, namely voice projection and articulation. It will help you to have authority and power in your voice and you will be perceived as a confident person. You can do it with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

If you look and sound confident people will not attempt to roast you because bullies are looking for people who lack confidence and who cannot reply to them.

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I have studied this subject for a while, experimented, and observed myself and other people in different situations. I embodied them myself and that became a game changer for me.

I will share my findings about mastering self-confidence with you.

#1 Confidence is not a feeling. Confidence is an action
The more attempts and actions you made the more confident you will become at whatever you do. If you want to feel confident in public speaking deliver as many public speeches as possible to become confident at it. You can learn and then master public speaking with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎American Accent App and ‎Fluent American Speech (American English), and Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

#2 Be persistent
Confidence cannot be developed overnight. It is a process of learning and repetition. In order to build confidence in a particular area of your life take consistent steps toward mastery regularly. Do not allow big time gaps. If you do something once a month you will not become confident doing it. If you persist, then you will eventually achieve success.

#3 Do not get discouraged by failures
A road to mastery is not possible without failures. Admit this fact and treat each failure as a valuable lesson.

#4 Develop your values and stick to them
A person who has values has a foundation to stand on. If people try to make you compromise your values acknowledge that and say “no” to them. Do not betray your values.

#5 Take decisions confidently
In order to take decisions confidently first check your values and make sure your decision does not contradict them; secondly weigh up the pros and cons of taking the decision and not taking the decision; last but not least check your intuition. A good decision is one that is confirmed by your intuition, mind and heart.

#6 Be brave and do not hesitate
Allowing fear and hesitation to control you is a dead end. Fear will not allow you to act. Instead, be brave and act.

If you follow these techniques, you will have confidence that is manifested in high self-worth and actions leading to others respecting you.

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