By Olga Smith
In this blog post, I would like to talk about how can we reach our full potential by enhancing our willpower with simple practical steps. First of all, let’s define willpower. Willpower is the ability to exercise one’s will. I was asking myself a question: I have willpower, but why I am not an Olympic champion then? Why I was struggling with weight loss for many years and once I dropped a kilo or two I gained them back the next week?
I am a keen tennis player and I have noticed that most tennis players who compete have good technique, but why then the same four of them (Federer, Nadal, Djokovic, Murray) win Wimbledon year after year? I had dined with Madona, our famous pop Queen in London Kaballah centre and I have noticed that she is not that good looking, she does not have the most amazing voice, she does not come from a rich family, but she is a millionairess and I am better looking and come from a wealthy family and I do not even have one million yet???
I have researched the topic of willpower and I have also analysed my attempts to live to my full potential and what mistakes I was making with regards to willpower.
My findings:
1. Will power is energy. Self-control requires a lot of energy, it is psychological and physical energy.
2. To live to our full potential we need to set up new heights and new goals regularly. Little victories lead to sabotage. We tend to stop our efforts.
3. We are stronger than we think or feel we are.
4. Regularity, consistency and repetition are more important than anything thing else.
5. If we surround ourselves with people who are high achievers and have strong willpower, by mirroring them as we all do subconsciously because we have mirror neurons in our brain, we can learn how to be more strong-willed.
6. Relaxation and meditation free our energy and allow us to exercise more self-control.
7. There is no tomorrow, there is only here and now.
My mistakes or how I lose self-control:
1. I felt sorry for myself too quickly and the moment I felt discomfort I eased my effort.
2. Once I gained a little progress I was making two steps back thus sabotaging my success
3. I drunk alcohol
4. I didn’t sleep well
5. I had a bad diet
6. I wasted a lot of my energy on YouTube videos about Russian Politics and on drinking tea (I love tea a lot)
7. I was procrastinating the next time, the next day and so on.
8. I didn’t have an end goal in mind and was hanging out aimlessly
9. I was not careful who I surround myself with.
10. My attention was not always on my goals and objectives. I tended to waste a lot of my time on things that do not contribute to anything, such as shopping for clothes, talking too much on the phone, absorbing too much information. My idle mind became insatiable and wanted more and more information. When we develop a habit to absorb information without acting upon it our action habit weakens. In modern times, we are bombarded by information and it is easy to lose focus and therefore self-control. Information obesity almost always leads to inaction and as a result to weakening the will to do anything.
11. I did not plan properly
This was my past. From now on I will do simple regular steps.
Practical steps to enhance my willpower and to live up to my full potential:
1. Good sleep: get up before 9 am and go to bed before midnight.
2. Good food: organic, fresh, rich variety, minimum or no alcohol.
3. Start with one new habit a month, for example, I want to reduce my talking time by 50 %. 8. I create this new habit and make it my automatic behaviour.
4. Relax regularly, I stretch 3 times a day.
5. For mediation, I will read my prayers in the morning and evening and ask God to help me with my goals.
6. Do little steps that I do not like doing, for example, set 5-15 minutes for the task I do not want and do it.
7. To focus my attention on my objectives:
a) I write a list of tasks to do for a day and allow a certain amount of time to do each task.
b) I look in my list after completion of a task and cross it.
c) I switch off my phone when doing a task
d) I imagine the result of my task completion to feel motivated
e) When playing tennis I focus on the ball
f) When walking I focus on my posture and breathing
g)When eating I focus on chewing
h) When talking I focus on pauses and inflection
j) When running I focus on lifting my upper leg higher and feeling a little pain.
8. I create information, for example, high-quality content for blogs instead of absorbing information.
In my opinion, enhancing my will by making small yet regular efforts is achievable. The trick is to continue increasing the effort gradually and regularly. When I watch Rafa Nadal playing tennis I am full of admiration for his best effort for each stroke. I was a cheater and often my strategy was “just do it”, which resulted often in bodging and later re-doing. Since I started playing tennis I realised that each stroke needs my 100% effort. Now is the time for a new strategy “do your best in every step.”
In conclusion, I want to share with you my observation. I have always had a choice to feel sorry for myself and to not use my full potential OR to stretch my limits and live to my highest potential. Each choice has a consequence. If I give in I get weaker, if I stretch myself I get stronger.
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