75. The way to enhance our self-esteem and social standing

By Olga Smith

What is the best way to feel good about ourselves and stand out in a social or professional environment? 

How can we upgrade ourselves? There are several tools people often use: they buy a house in a smart area, or a fancy car, a new suit or shoes. They go to Cambridge or Oxford. I can continue this list. But, when they open their mouth and start speaking their image and social standing can be destroyed if their speech is uneducated or dull and boring. On the contrary, if you possess the art of rhetoric and have beautiful speech, people will inadvertently respect you almost on a subconscious level. In England, speech stamps a person’s identity like a brand. It reveals our social and emotional intelligence, education, social class and economic position. That is why people have elocution lessons.

What are the aspects of speech we need to think about to enhance our social image and increase our self-esteem. I would like to online two main aspects of speech: 

  1. What do we say?

  2. How do we say it?

The number one skill to develop is to think before we speak

Before we start a sentence, let’s answers a few questions first: 

1. What outcome do we want to achieve as a result of what we say? 

2. Will our words be appropriate in the current situation and for people in this situation? 

Sometimes it is best to not say anything and just remain a pleasant listener. Often it is better to answer a question with “I don’t know”, instead of saying something in a rush.

The second thing to consider is our vocabulary. Do we use vivid language, metaphor and specific descriptive words or do we just use a minimalistic vocabulary? A minimalistic vocabulary will be understood by most. However, if we want to sound specific and articulate, express a certain range of feelings and emotions we need more words.

Tried and tested method to enrich our vocabulary is reading books, writing down new words and expressions and using them in our daily speech. Having elocution lessons is another way to master your speech. I have recently purchased a dictionary of metaphors because I realised that using a metaphor and symbolic language is a perfect way to sound interesting, be understood and influence others on a deeper level.

How you say it can be more important than what you say. Let’s consider a few questions. 

  1. Is our speech clear and easy to understand?

  2. Are we often being asked to repeat ourselves because people cannot understand what we said? 

  3. Do we speak too fast or too slowly? 

  4. Is our voice too loud or too quiet? 

  5. Do we use pauses or speak in paragraphs?

  6. Do we know how to stress key points in a phrase or sentence or do we drone on in a monotone and don’t stress anything or stress everything?

  7. Is our speech interesting and engaging or dull and boring?

  8. Is our tone of voice pleasant or there is something offputting about it?

How can we answer these questions? Very simply: choose a topic to talk about and records your speech. Then playback your recording and answer the questions above.

Speech mastery is a skill and it takes time and effort. To help you with this skill we have developed 9 iOS and 9 Android apps based on our bestsellers in the series Get Rid of your Accent. We can help you on this journey with your individual speech analysis and elocution lessons.

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