By Olga Smith
Are some people born confident? Is it in their genes? Can confidence be mastered? What can be done to feel and look confident? I will tell you now and recommend a few practical tools.
1. Do what you want to do. Some people do not even know what they truly want just like Julia Roberts character from the movie "Runaway Bride" who did not even know what kind of eggs she likes.
2. Do not do what you do not want to do. Some people sit in jobs they hate, and live with people they do not love because they are afraid of poverty and loneliness. The fact is that this very state makes them very lonely and unhappy.
3. Do not ask anybody's opinion about your appearance. People, who constantly ask: “Do I look good? Do you like my hair?” demonstrate self-doubt which is the opposite of self-confidence.
4. If you do not like something say it right then and there in a calm, constructive way. You can learn to do it with the app Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.
Often when people feel emotional they tend to raise their voice. It would be very effective to do the opposite. If they drop the pitch and slow down it will help them to be more in control and project authority.
5. Do not try to prove anything to anybody. When people try to prove themselves they often speak fast and try to say all they know in a short period of time. In order to build your confidence, it would be better to speak less and answer only those questions that are being asked of you. Make your answers clear and stress the key messages. You can learn about it with the apps Get Rid of your Accent and Fluent English Speech.
6. Do not base your self-worth on popularity with others. Be popular with yourself. Very often we think we are not good enough because others do not call us and do not show interest in us. In the past, I was worried that my boyfriend did not call me during the day. I would think that he did not love me enough and that I was not worthy of love. Quite often he did not call because he was very busy. What would be better is not to wait when others call you to enhance your worth but to make yourself busy and do things that make you happy, healthy and wealthy, that bring prosperity into your life.
7. Fall in love with yourself, with your work and your hobby.
8. According to R. Greene, “the game of power is in many ways the game of appearances. When you say less than necessary you inevitably appear more powerful than you are which is the key to establishing the aura of power”. How does saying less than necessary gives you an advantage? R. Greene suggests that “your silence will make other people uncomfortable. Humans are machines of interpretation and explanation, they have to know what you are thinking. When you carefully control what you reveal people cannot pierce your intentions or your meaning”.
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