189. Secrets of Successful Self-Presentation

Self-presentation is a skill that can make or break your social and professional success. In this article, I will outline some mistakes and give useful tips in this area.

Self-presentation is presenting oneself to others; others here are more important than self. Many people make a mistake by starting their self-presentation by listing their achievements, accomplishments and rewards rather than what benefits they can bring to the people they present to. For example, instead of saying “I hold a Toastmaster bronze reward”, you can say “I am a keen presenter as I have 15 years of experience in public speaking and would love to step in to present to customers and partners”. The statistics show that most people shy away from presenting, which can make you a valuable asset for a team where presentation skills are needed.

The second mistake is too much information. Avoid too many personal details that are of little interest to others such as what your mother does or what is your favourite beach. Just say things that are relevant to the situation you are in and focus on the purpose of your self-presentation.

The third area I want to talk about is speech and voice. If your speech is difficult to understand and/or your voice is unpleasant this can be a problem. The good news is you can fix it. Read about techniques to master speech and voice in my articles. Here I just want to mention the main mistakes: mumbling, speaking with a half-closed mouth, hesitating and using filler words such as “eehm, aaahm, like, basically, you know,” etc.

What can you do to make your self-[presentation successful? I recommend the SUS approach for the content:
Simple, Useful, with an element of Surprise.

Use short simple words, make it useful for others and add something unique about yourself that might surprise others. For example, if you are an elegant lady people might be surprised that you ride a high-speed motorbike.

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184. Why is English popular and Chinese is not?

Factors contribute to English becoming the most spoken language in the world:

1. The political power and importance of the British Empire led the people of India and Pakistan, Asia and Africa, North America, and Australia to study and speak English

2. The Industrial Revolution of eighteen century made English the language of trade, business and new technological inventions

3. The dominance of the BBC in English. English was the language of World news in business, trade, science and culture

4. By 1750 when British industrialisation had kicked off, the importance of the English language was utterly empowered and magnified by the nascent empire - the United States of America.
   The tremendous success of the USA as a political and economic superpower makes English a must-to-have skill if one wants to participate in this success

5. With the popularity of Hollywood, American SItcoms English dominates the World cultural scene

6. English is a proto-European language and the most malleable of languages which also increases its reach

Therefore to be successful and advanced people should read, speak and understand English.

Chinese (Mandarin) will not overtake English as the most-spoken language because:

1. China does not attract top talent due to the autocratic political system resulting to all new technological and scientific inventions and developments taking place in the West

2. The vast majority of Chinese often copy what was invented in the West (English-speaking countries)

3. China’s autocratic political system is not attractive to copy or follow for progressive people

4. The Chinese film industry is not particularly attractive to other nations resulting Chinese not dominating the cultural scene

Therefore despite a large Chinese population, it is not absolutely vital to study and speak Chinese to be advanced.

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180. How to Improve Your Business English

One of the most important things to have if you want to achieve anything is to have the motivation to do it. What can motivate you to master your Business English? Perhaps earning a bigger salary, fulfilling your true potential and expanding your career horizons? I can continue this list. I am sure you have your own motivation.

Secondly, I think you should focus on your business area first. It can be marketing or finance, for example. After you have mastered Business English in your area of expertise you can move on to other areas such as business development, management accounting, human resources management and so on.

Finally, structure your learning process. I will divide it into two parts.

The first one is your passive language, namely understanding Business English. This can be developed by listening and reading silently. I recommend listening to the BBC Business News, Bloomberg Radio and the audiobook Get Rid of your Accent for Business, Part Three.

The second part is your active Business English. This can be achieved by working with the Business English Speech app, writing and giving presentations. One of the best options would be to join a public speaking club such as Toastmasters (TM).  In TM you can give prepared and impromptu speeches, get evaluated and receive constructive feedback about what you are doing well and what can be improved. You can also learn how to conduct a TM meeting. This is an essential skill if you want to conduct/facilitate a meeting.

Below are a few practical daily tips:

1. Make notes of 2-5 phrases you hear and repeat them five times several times a day.

2. Write emails on Business topics and check the grammar with Grammarly. Make a note of your mistakes.

3. Read a short article in English 3 times out loud (250 words)

4. Work with the app Business English Speech for 15-45 minutes. This app is written in the style of the Economist and The Financial Times. You can master your Business vocabulary and pronunciation.

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171. How effective are the accent reduction training programs?

The answer to this question depends on three factors:

1. The teacher’s competence and work experience

2. The student’s ability to hear the differences in sounds and the amount of time and effort he/she is putting into the accent reduction process

3. The quality of training material: books, apps, video courses

Which teachers to choose?
Accent reduction should be taught by a qualified speech tutor (in the past speech tutors were called elocution teachers). A qualified speech tutor knows how sounds are produced in the mouth, the exact position of the tongue, lips and jaw for a particular sound. This is the key. To achieve the best results book a few elocution lessons.

What is expected of a student?
To reduce an accent one must substitute old habits of speaking with new ones which takes time and effort. It is a process. Usually, we recommend mastering a sound minimum for a week. Some sounds are easier and some may take longer to master. For example, /w/ sound does not exist in Russian. It is produced with lips going forward in a tight whistle and requires certain lip muscles. If the muscles are not trained it might take a while to train them to produce an energised /w/ sound. It’s a bit like going to the gym. If I tell you to go to the gym and come with a six-pack after one session you know that it will not happen. It is important to practice regularly, every day for 15-45 minutes rather than two hours once a week.

How to practice? Which books and apps to use?
I recommend that you download professional accent reduction apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎American Accent App and ‎Fluent American Speech (American English).
There is also an Elocution Lessons app to master essential English and a Business English Speech app that contains business vocabulary (both are for British English).
All the above apps have accompanying video courses, Get Rid of your Accent Part One and Get Rid of your Accent Part Two.

It is also a good idea to listen to good RP speakers, copy a section at a time, and record yourself.

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168. How do you deal with people who don't communicate directly ?

As Oscar Wilde once said: “The first duty in life is to be as artificial as possible.  What the second duty is no one has as yet discovered.” In English-speaking, Anglo-Saxon culture people see directness as a form of aggression, and being polite is above being sincere. It is absolutely vital to pay attention to subtle details of communication. Learn and understand these subtleties if you would like to build good business and social connections.

I recommend the following instructions if you want to master the art of subtle communication:

Master your listening skills

1. Create eye contact with a speaker and look at them with empathy and a smile. People relax when you smile at them

2. Observe the way a person speaks. Namely intonation, tone of voice, speech speed, loudness, etc. You can learn more about it in the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level, and the apps Fluent English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

3. Learn to read between the lines and pay close attention to words, voice, intonation, and facial expressions. Listen to the feelings and emotions behind words and voice, and respond to them appropriately

4. Imagine that you are a psychotherapist who is talking to a patient and that you are paid for listening

5. Allow a pause after what was said and connect with what was said

Work on your messages

1. Substitute negative words with euphemisms, for example instead of saying “poor” say “not bad”, instead of saying “I disagree” say “maybe I understand it differently”, and so on

2. Avoid giving orders, ask or request instead, for example, instead of saying “Do it!” say “Would you like to do it for me, please?”, and so on

3. Use a friendly tone of voice and intonation even when speaking about something difficult. You can master it with the app ‎Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

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164. Be in control and exude authority

Good barristers, politicians and business leaders sound confident, in control and have authority in their speech and voice. Can it be mastered? Yes, and I will explain how.

First of all, in order to achieve authority in your voice be in control of your breathing. Good breath control will bring energy to your voice.

Secondly, good articulation will help you sound clear, more energised and powerful. You can master it with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 (British English) or ‎American Accent App (American English).‎

Thirdly, avoid sounding monotonous and saying everything on one level of pitch. Change the pitch, power and pace according to the emotion/meaning of a particular message. We can recommend the app 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause if you want to learn and practice this technique.

To achieve authority, speak in a straightforward way and stress the key messages. To make the keywords stand out use a louder or quieter voice (depending on the meaning). Raise the inflection when saying keywords and vice versa, use downward inflection with unstressed words. Learn more about inflecltion and sentence stress in the apps ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or Fluent American Speech (American English).

Finally, think about physicality and be well in control of your posture and gestures. Have a good straight posture and gestures that support your messages.

What is the best way to practice it? Listen to speakers like Winston Churchill. Watch courtroom dramas and note how effective barristers speak. Here is a practical exercise for you:

1. Read a speech out loud and record yourself.

2. Underline stresses keywords and mark pauses in the printed copy of the speech. You can learn how to do it right with the app Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

3. Read the speech again and record yourself. If necessary repeat this exercise a few times.

If you need help book a few elocution lessons.

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154. How to prepare for a presentation?

We recommend that people who take our elocution lessons should practise their presentations in the following order:

1. Write the structure of the presentation in key messages, introduction, body, and conclusion. For example:
   - in the introduction, you can greet your audience and say what your presentation is about;
   - in the body of the presentation you will discuss examples and statistics which support the topic and purpose of your presentation;
   - in the conclusion you will call for action.

2. Read the presentation three times and then do an audio recording. Listen to your audio recording and make a note of your mistakes then practise again until you are satisfied with the results. It is very useful to perform articulation exercises with the app Get Rid of your Accent for a few days before your presentation.

3. Finally, practise it in front of the mirror and make a video recording of yourself presenting

Practicing in front of the mirror is helpful for public speaking because you will be able to see how confident you look, and you will also see your posture and gestures. All three, confidence, posture, and gestures can support your presentation/speech or distract from it.

The main characteristics of bad posture are:

1. Slouching

2. Body tilted backward or forwards

3. Lifted shoulders

4. Looking down

5. Toes pointing left and right, looking like a penguin

6. Both toes pointing inside and heels pointing outside

7. One shoulder is higher than the other

8. Hunched back

9. Humping on one leg

I recommend that you stay straight and create zigzag eye contact with your audience. Do not walk from one side of the room to another as it can be destructive. Just use zigzag eye contact with your audience. Download the app 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause to practise posture preparation, use of pause and voice modulation. These useful skills will make all your presentations much better.

Let's take a look at the gestures that are weakening your presence and your speech delivery.

1. Lack of gestures resulting from the stiffness of the body. Sometimes a person feels so nervous that they grab their speech in their hands and hold it during their entire presentation. This creates a closed body posture and shows a lack of confidence.

2. Scratching your head, nose or any part of the body can look a bit distracting and even inappropriate.

3. Trying to adjust your clothes, and moving a ring on your finger are also gestures that indicate that the person feels somewhat nervous.

4. Touching and trying to improve your hair shows that you are not sure of your looks and feel you are not confident enough.

5. Too many gestures and repetitive gestures show you are trying too hard to compensate for a lack of confidence.

I recommend using descriptive gestures. Think about how your gestures can help your audience absorb the information easily. Using visual aids is also very powerful and brings an element of play into your presentation.
Just 15 minutes before presenting, perform body relaxation exercises so that anxiety does not interfere with the smooth delivery of your presentation.

You can find out more tips for speech mastery and public speaking on www.batcsglobal.com

153. Active listening checklist

Empathetic listening or active involves listening not only to the content but also to how it is said. Nonverbal messages that a speaker is using can give you clues. The foundation of empathetic listening is a sincere interest in a person speaking.

The checklist of what not to do during active listening:

1. Do not interrupt other’s speech

2. Do not anticipate what will be said

3. Do not finish a speaker's sentences

4. Do not judge, observe what is being said and how it is being said

I recommend the following instructions if you want to master empathetic listening:

1. Create eye contact with a speaker and look at them with empathy and a smile. People relax when you smile at them

2. Observe the way a person speaks. Namely intonation, tone of voice, speech speed, loudness, etc. You can learn more about it in the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level, and the apps Fluent English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

3. Listen to the feelings and emotions behind words and voice, and respond to them appropriately

4. Imagine that you are a psychotherapist who is talking to a patient and that you are paid for listening

5. Allow a pause after what was said and connect with what was said

6. Motivate yourself for active listening by knowing that a person who is listening is in a more powerful position than the one who speaks

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152. Learn to communicate your emotions and feelings

I have noticed that many of us were not educated to communicate emotions and feelings. Instead, we were taught "how to think right." In kindergarten, school, university and then at work, even in the family, we learned how to think and speak appropriately.

The thing is we are not robots; we are humans with feelings and emotions. In Western civilization, we learned how to neglect our feelings and just say "the right thing." We learned that expressing vulnerability is a weakness and that being tough is a real strength. Is it? I am not so sure about it.

We often communicate the feeling of frustration with anger and aggression. In England, where I live, it is very fashionable to express feelings in a passive-aggressive way. In other words, acting nicely but with hidden aggression. Is there a need to be aggressive or passive-aggressive? Is there a better way? How can we do it differently?

Where does the aggression come from? In my opinion, the basis of aggression is judgment. What often happens is we see that someone breaks "a rule" that we expected he/she should observe, and we are quick to judge and then may even attack that person. We evaluate, judge and attack.

What if we stop evaluating and simply observe? Instead of judging, we start observing other people's speech and observing our own reaction to it and what feelings and emotions we have at that moment. This process takes time. If we do this exercise on a regular basis it will become automatic. It will substitute our reactive/aggressive responses to communicating our observations in a calm, measured way. When communicating, it is much better if we look at the person with compassion rather than with judgment.

Observation is neutral, whilst judgment is negative. When we feel negative, our body reacts in a certain way: we get tense, become stiff, and shorten breathing. By pausing, relaxing your body and breathing correctly you will help yourself to communicate your emotions as observations.

Many students who take our elocution lessons often tell us that they want to become more confident. Feeling confident is expressed by your body language, voice and words. The key to confidence is calmness, feeling relaxed and at the same time in control of your emotions.

You can find useful breathing exercises and how you can use your intonation and voice to express different feelings and emotions in the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advanced Level and the apps Fluent English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

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150. Annoying speech patterns

1. Going round in circles
   It is so annoying when a person says something and then repeats it again and again. It is rather tiring when someone cannot stop expressing one idea and keeps repeating it endlessly. Such speech makes the speaker sound rather stupid.

2. Beating about the bush
   I know people who can speak for a long time and not really say much. Such speech lacks concreteness and sounds lightweight. My friend calls such speakers “cappuccino people”. Such speech makes the speaker sound rather shallow.

3. Monotonous speech
   Monotonous speech is so boring. As a result, listeners switch off very quickly. It also makes a speaker sound rather dull. The monotonous speech also lacks emotion and the speaker may sound like a robot. Actors learn how to modulate their voice in drama schools. You can master voice modulation with our book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level which is based on drama school training.

4. Rushed speech
   The human brain absorbs information slower than someone transforms it which is why rushed speech is difficult to follow. During our elocution lessons, we teach our students how to slow down the pace of the speech and use pauses in order to make their speech easy and interesting to listen to.

5. Paracite-words such as “eeeh”, “em”, “like”, “basically”, “you know”, “so”, etc.
   People often use parasite words to connect sentences and speak in paragraphs. When the speaker does not make pauses between sentences and speaks in paragraphs listeners cannot concentrate after the first idea and switch off. The full stop was invented to separate sentences and ideas. The pause between them allows listeners to absorb one idea at a time and get ready for the next one. You can practise this with our book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level.
   

6. Wooly speech that lacks clarity
   Such speech creates a considerable disadvantage for both the speaker and the listener. The speaker is perceived as uneducated and lacking confidence and the listener is frustrated as he/she cannot understand what is said. To overcome wooly speech start articulation exercises with our bestselling book Get Rid of your Accent Part One .
   
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149. Non-verbal communication

Nonverbal messages are far more powerful than verbal and paying attention to details is the key when creating one’s image/brand as well as understanding other people.

Eye contact and facial expressions are very powerful tools for non-verbal communication. You can express happiness, sadness, confidence, fear, surprise, and a full range of emotions with your eyes, lips, and mouth.

Your posture and the way your walk speaks louder than words. People with good posture look powerful, graceful and confident. Bad posture is associated with old age and a low spirit.
In our book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two we talk about posture preparation as part of working on your voice power.

Gestures are an important part of non-verbal communication. Lack of gestures may be seen as stiffness of the body and show a lack of confidence. Scratching your head or any part of the body can look a bit simple and demonstrate a lack of upbringing. Touching and trying to improve your hair may show that you are not sure of your looks and feel you are not enough. Too many gestures and repetitive gestures may imply that you are trying too hard to compensate for a lack of confidence.

People can learn to use gestures to their advantage. Empathic gestures such as nodding your head show that you hear another person and understand them. This also can be added with the appropriate tone of voice and intonation. You can master it with the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level.

Finally, clothes, shoes, hair, nails, jewelry and makeup are also part of non-verbal communication. When clothes look clean, expensive and tastefully put together they communicate wealth, culture and status, whilst dirty, smelly clothes with holes reveal the opposite picture.

It is vital that verbal messages and properly supported and enhanced by nonverbal clues to create a credible presence and powerful messages.

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148. Difficult speech patterns: consonant clusters and word endings

Consonant clusters and word endings are important for achieving speech clarity and creating an impression of an educated person.

Consonant clusters can be quite difficult to pronounce for both native and non-native English speakers. The tip of the tongue needs to be tightly controlled in the following clusters: str, spr, scr, spr, spl.
Examples are below:
stretch, strategy, streets, strong, stranger
sprint, sprained, spring, sprouts
screaming, screeching, scrapping, screenplay
sprayed, sprinkle, sprout, Spring
splurge, splendid, split, splash

We recommend that you separate each consonant and make /s/ sound longer when practicing consonant clusters. Do not substitute consonant clusters with the sound /ʃ/ as “shoes”.

The second difficult speech pattern that most of our students struggle with is voiced and unvoiced endings for plurals and third-person singular: /s/, /z/, /ɪz/, /t/, /d/, /ɪd/. They are particularly difficult for Japanese, Chinese and Spanish. They tend to not pronounce the endings at all. This may create a rather bad impression because it can be interpreted as a lack of knowledge of the basic English grammar rules to create past tense and plurals. There are five rules in our app and book that you need to learn and practice to master these endings.
Below are a couple of examples with unvoiced /s/, voiced /z/ and /ɪz/endings:
1. Sticks(s) and stones(z) may break my bones(z) but names(z) will never hurt me.
2. Under certain circumstances, the accountant uses excuses for claiming excessive expenses.

Here are examples of /t/, /d/, /ɪd/ word endings that most of our students struggle with.

1. The mugger pummeled and punched his victim before he seized his wallet.
2. At the circus the children laughed and clapped at the clowns’ routines.
3. The old ladies chatted and knitted as they waited for their tea to arrive.

How can you master word endings? The most effective way is to book a few elocution lessons. When you practise without a teacher with the app and book please follow this strategy:
1. Make sure you understand well what voiced and unvoiced consonants are. You can learn about it in Lesson 2 of the book and app
2. Learn five rules for the word endings
3. Keep energy towards the end of a word and pronounce the ending properly
4. Record yourself noting the pronunciation of your word endings

All examples are taken from our book Get Rid of your Accent, Part Two Advanced Level and the accompanying app Fluent English Speech. To book elocution lessons email oriana_r@hotmail.com

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147. What should I do to improve my listening skills fast?

I recommend the following daily practices:

1. Make an effort to not interrupt a person speaking. Often, when we talk to others, we do not have the patience to listen. We hear a few words and very quickly we start anticipating what the other person will say. We even try to finish their sentences which is not very helpful, particularly for the person who is talking

2. Pay attention to people and understand who you are speaking to. Try to answer the following questions. What do they want? What is bothering them?

3. Pay attention to people’s intonation and voice. Is it sad or happy? Does the person sound confident or hesitant?

4. Avoid commenting, judging or advising regarding what you listening about.

5. Listen and engage your mind and heart

6. Reduce your speaking time.
   
   I noticed that if one has a tendency to talk a lot it takes quite an effort to control this urge. It will take time, effort and mastery to possess the art of keeping silent and saying less than necessary.

I practice simple techniques to overcome my urge to talk a lot:

1. When planning a day I make a written note that programs me to reduce my speaking time by 80%

2. I make an effort to engage in active listening

3. I wear a bracelet that reminds me that I should control my urge to speak a lot

4. Instead of speaking, I use eye contact and other body language signs to interact with others, I let others speak more

5. I speak only when it is absolutely necessary and I try to keep silent otherwise.

6. Before saying anything I ask myself: is it necessary? how it can be interpreted? what are the dangers and consequences of my words?

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146. How can developing your communication skills lead to financial opportunities?

The primary purpose of communication is to understand others and be understood. There are additional purposes as well such as informing, persuading, selling, introducing yourself to others, inspiring, entertaining, etc.
There are different situations where communication is a key tool.
People who take our elocution lessons prepare for their job interviews, presenting to potential investors, court performances (as barristers), negotiations, teaching, etc. I have noticed one thing in common among our students: they are all high achievers who need good communication skills.

People who buy our books and apps and take our elocution lessons and course tell us their reasons why they need good communication skills. Here are just a few.

1. They lack confidence when presenting

2. They feel that their colleagues do not always understand what they are saying and it can be disruptive and even frustrating at work.

3. They are not invited to meetings and they cannot chair projects because of difficult-to-understand speech

4. They are not getting promoted and as a result, do not have a pay rise

5. They cannot get higher-paid jobs where they need to present, chair meetings and discussions

After our elocution lessons and practising with our books and apps their speech and life changed for the better:

1. They feel confident when speaking and become successful at work

2. They get better jobs and their salary increases

3. They enjoy their work more including chairing meetings, presenting and speaking in public

To date, we have five books and nine iOS and nine Android apps plus two video courses for speech mastery. If you master your communication skills you will be able to get jobs, build successful business relations and grow your business.

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145. Clear communication

Clear communication helps to avoid conflicts, misunderstandings, embarrassment and failures. Many of our students often ask how they can develop clear communication. I will share with you my tips in this blog.

Let me first list the facts that might lead to unclear communication:
1. Differences in cultural and educational backgrounds
2. Difficult to understand speech. This can be an unintelligible accent, rushed speech, bad articulation
3. Quiet voice
4. Lack of sincerity and integrity
5. Poor listening
6. Lack of attention to details
7. Lack of patience and psychological issues
8. People do not know what they want and just express their emotions and thoughts in a random way hoping that others think in the same way they do

How can we make our communication clear?
I recommend starting with mastering your listening skills. Use active listening. Pay attention to the intonation and voice. Is it sad and serious or lighthearted and happy? Does the person sound hesitant or confident? The truth might not be in words but in the intonation and emotions that people use when saying something.

Secondly, you can paraphrase what you heard to make sure that you understood correctly. You can use various techniques to paraphrase: synonyms, changing the word order, changing passive voice to active voice, etc.

The third recommendation is to observe people from different cultures and adjust to them. The same words in your culture might mean totally different things in another one as described in the Anglo-Eu Translation Guide above.

A few of my European friends married English men and all of them are complaining about the same: they never know what their husbands really think. I personally noticed that in English culture the social code is quite particular and being polite is above sincerity. So having clear communication with Engish requests skills such as reading between the lines and paying close attention to words, voice, intonation and facial expressions. I enclose a table that demonstrates that.

Finally, I strongly recommend that you work on delivering your messages clearly and concisely. Do not drown them in a sea of unnecessary words. Do not beat about the bush, just say it! Most people do not have the patience to listen and if you want to be heard be concise. Stress the important words. I said it many times and I will say it again: use pauses. Articulate well and project your voice. Do not speak with your mouth half closed. To help with these important skills we have useful apps, books and video courses for you:

iOS Apps(the same apps are available on Google Play as well)

1. ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and Fluent English Speech (British English)‎

2. American Accent App and Fluent American Speech (General American English)‎

3. ‎‎Business English Speech‎

4. Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

5 Paperback, Kindle and Audiobooks to master English:

1. Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Pronunciation and Speech Training Manual

2. Advanced Level (Pt. 2) (Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Speech Training Manual)

3. Get Rid of Your Accent for Business: The English Pronunciation and Speech

4. GET RID OF YOUR ACCENT, PART ONE AND TWO: GENERAL AMERICAN SPEECH TRAINING MANUAL, Second Edition

2 Video Courses to master English speech:

Get Rid of your Accent Part One and Get Rid of your Accent Part Two

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143. Why leaders should talk less and listen more

One of the most important tasks of a leader is to make decisions. To make good decisions leaders need information from others. The more silent they are, the more they are able to hear. Active listening without interrupting will enable leaders to notice finer details, particularly if they pay attention to the intonation and voice. They will also be able to notice nonverbal or body language signals, gather valuable information and have a bigger picture of a situation. That will be useful for making better decisions.

The second task of a leader is to lead people of different abilities, identify their strengths and use these strengths successfully. Active listening does help understand people better.

Finally, not giving away too much and being economical with words is a very useful tool in establishing a powerful position, particularly in negotiation, business meetings with rivals, etc. “The person who cannot control his words shows he cannot control himself and therefore unworthy of respect” (Don Corleone, Godfather). If one wants to assume a position of power he/she should always say less than necessary.

According to R. Greene, “The game of power is in many ways the game of appearances. When you say less than necessary you inevitably appear more powerful than you are which is the key to establishing the aura of power”. How does saying less than necessary gives you an advantage? R. Greene suggests that “your silence will make other people uncomfortable. Humans are machines of interpretation and explanation, they have to know what you are thinking. When you carefully control what you reveal people cannot pierce your intentions or your meaning”.

Remember, if you are in a leading position, your words are extremely powerful and every word counts. Once the words are out you cannot take them back. They can be used for you or against you. Your brief answers and silence will put people on the defensive and they will be trying to fill the gaps you left with all sorts of comments that might reveal valuable information about them and their weaknesses. Moreover, when people try to share as much information as possible they often say things that are not appropriate for the context and may appear silly as a result.

I personally have noticed that keeping silent is hard and in order to make myself comfortable I may start making small talk and if the other person is not saying much I feel weak, I try to talk more and say things I do not really need to say. In this situation, I make myself desperate for approval. I feel like people who use silence with me rob me of my power.

I noticed that if one tends to talk a lot it takes quite an effort to control this urge. It will take time, effort and mastery to possess the art of keeping silent and saying less than necessary.

I practice simple techniques to overcome my urge to talk a lot:

1. When planning a day I make a written note that programs me to reduce my speaking time by 80%

2. I make an effort to engage in active listening

3. I wear a bracelet that reminds me that I should control my urge to speak a lot

4. Instead of speaking, I use eye contact and other body language signs to interact with others, I let others speak more

5. I speak only when it is absolutely necessary and I try to keep silent otherwise.

6. Before saying anything I ask myself: is it necessary? how it can be interpreted? what are the dangers and consequences of my words?

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142. What are some tips for improving public speaking and presentation skills?

In my opinion, the qualities that are important for a public speaker and presenter are :

1. Good straight posture which creates a confident image

2. Great eye contact which the audience

3. Good articulation and clear speech

4. Good voice projection so that people could hear him/her

5. Ability to explain his/her topic in an accessible simple way so that people with different abilities can understand it

6. Ability to structure the speech and prioritise the important points to fit the set time

7. Ability to ask questions that encourage audience to interact with the speaker

I would like to give the following recommendations for a public speaker and presenter:

1. Avoid parasite words, swear words, and fillers like “so, you know, basically, like, em, ah”. People use these words when they are thinking and speaking at the same time. Simply substitute these unnecessary words with pauses

2. Use pauses to separate your ideas, do not say all of them in one breath and allow your students to digest one idea at a time. If you speak without pauses, your student

3. Speak about profound things using simple language

4. Get to the point. Avoid beating about the bush

5. Do not jump from one topic to another, use logic and finish one thought at a time.

6. Ask questions and let students do the talking

7. Download apps, books and video courses to master your speech and public speaking skills

iOS Apps: (the same apps are available on Google Play)

1. ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and Fluent English Speech (British English)‎

2. American Accent App and Fluent American Speech (General American English)‎

3. ‎‎Business English Speech‎

4. Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

5 Paperback, Kindle and Audio books to master English:

1. Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Pronunciation and Speech Training Manual

2. Advanced Level (Pt. 2) (Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Speech Training Manual)

3. Get Rid of Your Accent for Business: The English Pronunciation and Speech

4. GET RID OF YOUR ACCENT, PART ONE AND TWO: GENERAL AMERICAN SPEECH TRAINING MANUAL, Second Edition

2 Video Courses to master English speech:

Get Rid of your Accent Part One and Get Rid of your Accent Part Two

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141. How can you improve your negotiation skills?

Here is advice from my personal experience which might help you to master your negotiation skills.

1. Setting clear goals you want to achieve as a result of a negotiation and writing down your strategy for achieving them.

2. Projecting power, leadership and credible image. Avoid sounding greedy, be honest and straight. Be in control of your urges to talk too much.

3. Active listening and tuning into your negotiation partner, paying attention to the intonation and voice; understanding their needs and aspirations. This is different from passive listening where you hear the speaker but fail to retain the information. The more silent you are the more you are able to hear.

4. Communicating clearly and to the point to keep your audience’s attention. This skill is particularly important when speaking on the phone. You can achieve this skill by performing speech exercises with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and Fluent English Speech.

5. Thinking bigger. Often, when negotiating, each party is striving to get the biggest “slice of the pie” possible. If one party gets more then the other will get less. To break free of this traditional idea of negotiation, experts suggest shifting your goals from growing your slice to growing the whole pie. In this case, each party can get more than expected. Moreover, it will create the grounds for establishing rapport and trust for future business deals and collaborations. based on a win-win scenario

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140. Can speaking positively help someone develop a positive mindset?

The short answer is yes, it will help. The most important factor in creating a positive mindset is working on fostering a positive attitude. A positive attitude then is supported by using positive vocabulary.

Let me explain how it works. When you speak you program yourself and a positive talk will create not only a positive mindset but also positive events in your life.

By talking positively your focus will be on positive things thus you will magnify good things and create your own positive reality.

There are several realities that take place at the same time starting from the most negative like war, death, fear, and to the most positive like feeling optimistic, falling in love and enjoying peace.

One person who tends to talk about negative things and use negative language might find him/herself feeling sad, fearful and at a low energy level.

Another person who is optimistic and who wants to discuss successes and victories, beauty and prosperity will be at a high energy level which will be instrumental in bringing great things into his/her life.

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139. Qualities that are important for a lecturer

What makes a good lecturer? A good lecturer is effective in transmitting information from himself/herself to the audience. A good lecturer is a competent public speaker and subject matter expert. The objectives of a lecturer are different from a public speaker in that a lecturer has to facilitate the transmission and retention of information.

In my opinion, the qualities that are important for a lecturer are:

1.       Good straight posture which creates a confident image

2.       Great eye contact which connects the lecturer to his/her students

3.       Good articulation and clear speech

4.       Good voice projection so that students could hear him/her

5.       Ability to explain his/her subject in an accessible simple way so that students with different abilities can understand it

6.       Ability to structure the lecture and prioritise the important topics/points to fit the set time of the lecture

7.       Ability to ask questions that encourage students to interact with the lecturer

 I would like to give the following recommendations for lecturers:

1.       Avoid parasite words, swear words, and fillers like “so, you know, basically, like, em, ah”. People use these words when they are thinking and speaking at the same time. Simply substitute these unnecessary words with pauses

2.   Use pauses to separate your ideas, do not say all of them in one breath and allow your students to digest one idea at a time. If you speak without pauses, your student

3.   Speak about profound things using simple language

4.   Get to the point. Avoid beating about the bush

5.   Do not jump from one topic to another, use logic and finish one thought at a time.

6.   Ask questions and let students do the talking

7.   Download apps, books and video courses to master your speech and public speaking skills

 iOS Apps:

1.       ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and Fluent English Speech (British English)‎

2.       American Accent App and Fluent American Speech (General American English)‎

3.       ‎‎Business English Speech‎

4.       Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

 5 Paperback, Kindle and Audio books to master English:

1.       Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Pronunciation and Speech Training Manual

2.       Advanced Level (Pt. 2) (Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Speech Training Manual)

3.       Get Rid of Your Accent for Business: The English Pronunciation and Speech

4.       GET RID OF YOUR ACCENT, PART ONE AND TWO: GENERAL AMERICAN SPEECH TRAINING MANUAL, Second Edition

 2 Video Courses to master English speech:

Get Rid of your Accent Part One and Get Rid of your Accent Part Two

More on www.batcsglobal.com